Me vs. the Bale… and Frozen Cow Poop

Back Squat – 5/3/1+
105# / 119# / 133# (3 reps)

A few misadventures to report tonight. I know, how rare. I decided to forgoe the box squats tonight and just warmup and get right into the back squats. I did some mobility, jump rope, and some light sets. I thought I had 75# on the bar, and according to my trusty calculator I only need to add 30# and I would be at 105#, the weight for my first set. So I slapped the 15# plates on and then went to diddle around for a few minutes. I came back, put the weight on my back and went down into the first squat.

“Holey moley, self, 105# sure feels heavy tonight.”

“Suck it up buttercup. Four more reps to go.”

So I did four more reps. Four more ugly, knarly, just at the point of catastrophic disaster reps.

Then I had a mini crisis in which I questioned my apparent physical shortcomings in relation to the back squat. I’ll never be able to squat. I hate squats!

Then after I racked the bar I realized that I had 95#, not 75#, on the bar. So I had just done five reps of 125#. Well, no wonder it felt heavy. It was heavy (relatively speaking to my woeful squatting ability.)

I wondered if I should just continue on to my 133# set and call it a night. Then I went back and redid the 105# and 119# sets. It was the correct choice.

Two things I hate. Math and squats.

Then I finished up with 50 kettlebell swings at 35#. Because Tim Ferris said it will make your tush look nice. Not that I have any interest or desire to balance shot glasses on my booty, but you never know when you may need that life skill. It’s best to be prepared.

My other workout today was pushing giant 1300 pound balls of hay around. Not kidding. We are in cow feeding season and we drop the bales off our hay wagon and they are supposed to roll down a hill and unroll. Well today it was -10 degrees with 30 mile per hour winds so of course – of course – they all decided not to unroll.

Mostly the problem was frozen cow turds. I’m sorry if that grosses anyone out, but that’s life. Cows poop. It lands on the ground. It freezes into giant granite like mounds and the bales catch on them and refuse to unroll. That means Tami has to try to push 1300 pounds of grass over a pile of instantly fossilized bovine dung.

Hey, it’s a good workout. Right up there with the prowler, I’d say.

Think about that the next time you grill up a steak.


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