Squat No Good

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Today I decided to work on back squats. Today I also decided to videotape myself working on back squats because my form is on the bad side of atrocious. Now, there are few things I hate worse in this world than seeing myself on video tape, so this was not starting off on a good note. Then add to that the fact that I had to watch myself do some of the worst back squats EVER, well let’s just say it didn’t do much for my disposition. In fact, it made me downright cranky.

I don’t know if I have time to list all of my squatting related problems: bad knees, calves and ankles that are about as flexible as a piece of drop forged steel, a rather large caboose. Recipe for disaster. My main problem is that when I come out of the hole I lead with my aforementioned oversized caboose and my upper body has to follow. I believe this is called taco-ing, and I have no idea how to fix it. I started with 110#, then dropped down to 100#, which is actually rather light for me, to work on form. Then I abandoned the bar altogether and just tried to keep my torso upright. I narrowed my stance and did a ton of air squats while holding on to the bar while it was in the rack. That seemed to help, and I was getting on my heels pretty good and keeping my chest up a lot more. I still have a huge inward curve in my lower back, which it seems like I’ve always had even before I knew what a squat was. Quite possibly it is an optical illusion (or the gravitational pull of the solar system) of/on my oversized caboose. My knees were also making some alarming noises. I wish I could figure out a way to record the sound, I think I could compose some nifty avante-garde postmodern punk music with it.

So, after throughly annoying and frustrating myself, I decided to work on some cleans. I did a bunch at 80#, 90#, 100#, and then a few at 110# (my PR). Then I worked on the pull with 120# and 130#. I don’t know what you call that, it’s where you do the first and second pull, and the shrug, but not the third pull and clean. I’m sure there is a technical weightlifting term for that, but I have no idea what it is. 

That soothed me a little, but I’m still on the grouchy side. Stupid squats.

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