Calving Season Workout

Today at Dakota CrossFit they did the “Manual Labor” workout in my honor. Sniff, I’m touched, really – thanks guys. I was thinking of that today while I was shoveling manure, pitching hay, rolling out bales and other various and sundry chores around the ranch. Then I started thinking, what would my perfect calving season workout look like if I did it CrossFit style? Thankfully, manual labor is not really mentally taxing, so I had a lot of time to ruminate on it. Without further ado, I present:

“Calving Season”

First, 3 rounds of:

Suicide runs
10 bodyweight deadlifts
5 burpees 


5 rounds of:

10 sandbag clean & jerks, 50#
100 ft. sandbag carry
15 sledge hammer hits on tractor tire
4 tire flips, put sandbag in center of tire each flip
100 ft. sled drag 75#/100#


1 round of:

Virtual shoveling, 25 reps
1 rope climb

*Workout must be done while wearing weighted vest.

Now, here is the reasoning behind each exercise:

  • Suicide runs: simulate chasing/being chased by a cow
  • Deadlifts: just lifting heavy stuff off the ground
  • Burpees: get down on ground and back up quickly, many reasons to do this, most involving angry livestock or malfunctioning machinery
  • 50# sandbag clean & jerks: a bag of feed weighs 50#, pick it up off the ground and load it
  • Sandbag carry: carry bag of feed to barn/feed trough
  • Sledge hits: pound steel posts, chop ice, fix things that break
  • Tire flips: simulates flipping/rolling out big round bales of hay
  • Sled drag: drag calf on sled to barn/pen, calves usually weigh from 75-100#
  • Virtual shoveling: shoveling, duh.
  • Rope climb: climb fence/tree/barn/tractor to get away from mad cow
  • Weighted vest: simulates wearing bulky and heavy clothes and mud-caked boots
  • If you want the full experience, do the entire workout in a muddy field, preferably while it is raining or snowing

And there you have it: the “Calving Season” workout. I’m not being facetious, either. I’m putting this out there in all seriousness, try it if you dare. But if you come down with Rhabdo or Mad Cow Disease, don’t blame me.


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